anyone who can touch you
can hurt you or heal you
anyone who can reach you
can love you or leave you


time to revive this space a lil..
all my papers are freaking screwed
congratulations to me
:(
math was fucking screwed la.
sadness.
OH WELL.


today spiced things up!
:)

met tinks (hahah!)
havent seen that girl since a month ago when the left for shanghai! hrm. doesnt matter. laughed so hard today. jiang and nette + tinks were being major nuts :D

great food + fab shopping (all butter choc cookie and teenvogue AFTER SO LONG and 4 mango items and 1 RL polo! :) + our usual freaky movie to boot = great laughs and happy times, yes. feels like the old days. which i need a lot of..


bumped into stj! (..nonsense opening line..haha)
and lotsa other people..such a town day.


looking fwd to 5 day hols
kicking off with holland v breakfast! and some oldold friends after.
:D

\\

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button, boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe... just breathe,

There's a light at each end of this tunnel,
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you only try turning around.

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe
breathe, just breathe,
breathe, just breathe.


A Lot Like Love was fabfabfab
go watch it!! a million thumbs up. another title to add to list of favourite movies!
amanda peet is cute
and obviouslyyyyy so is ashton kutcher..haha
the soundtrack is also wayyy fab

anywayy
the thing is, i feel damn screwed right now..
this is seriously like shit!
ugh. ARGH.
school is starting in a few days..
seriously. ive never been filled with such extensive dread. its already been months but it just wont go away.
i
dont
want
school
:(
this is such a steph moment.
where art thou girly :( :(
i dont wanna wake up tomorrow.
my legs are tired just thinking about it.

\ feelitcomingallbacktome.

You've been so thoughtless
I can see right through you
You used to be there for me
don't you leave and say goodbye
You have changed, but so have I

I never thought that the time and the distance
Between us made you so much colder

youre my wonderwall

conclusion #1

steph is one who applies hyperbole-ism (self coined word haha) at its utmost extreme..
i keep reminding myself to keep this theory in mind, especially after all these years, but somehow her exaggeration never ceases to amaze me. theyre clearly outsmarting each other ._.
-faints.


conclusion #2

studying at anywhere else but home :
study breaks = shopping time.
which brings me to the topic of my fantabulous buys at fcuk+prints today hehe!
me+steph+rachel were happily raiding prints. and they were constantly mocking me for my taste in cards, yes ._.


conclusion #3

cookies and cream ice blended could secretly be coffee! be warned! do not be conned!


conclusion #4

local designers = COOLIO.
-looks at ree!
:D :D
-looks at the BOOKMARK jiang bought and laughs at her
haha!


conclusion #5

(its about time we faced this conclusion, steph)
the most recently published teenvogue mustve been june/july.


conclusion #6

three years plus of friendship dont mean nothing, nana! :)


conclusion #7

attempts to detox body will always fail
due to butter and etc that i always subconsciously add to my food


conclusion #8

initial d = jay chou + edison chen + shawn yue = screaming fans = not functioning escalators = HIGH annoyance = everyone BUT jayz's fault
hahah.
thanks and sorry, steph :)


conclusion #9

ironic as it is, IM-ing creates proper opportunities for interaction between the impossible, but also creates impossibility for proper interaction.


conclusion #10

BIRTHDAY BOOKS ARE SO NOT TRUE
i refuse to nod my head along with ree and jiang, no!


gdnightyy!

sweet misery

online shopping is the new fad..
hahah.

steph+i found a second resort in case majumall fails!
:D :D

last week of hols coming right up
im so freaking screwed
wish the second and third week could replayyyy
but then again, if i turned back time,
then the time wasted would be futile
cos out of the sandcastles ive built
i realise something else beautiful was constructed too,
so.

the oc craze is back,
brewing stronger than ever
STEPH I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH SANDY COHEN, your nonsense is seriously over the top.
emo oc songs + megan's furry presence + steph's company + well-carved faces + sweet saccharine + too many apples = fuzziness from within.
healthy activites :)

msn dollies!! i love tings. girl, i miss you!!
emptiness is always with us, yupyup.

HWING ths is a special shoutout to you tho you have a tagboard, haha. SMILE. im always hereee. lets try to revive wendy periods!! <3 you so.

charmie hammie, happy bday once again!! MISS YOU!

nette hahah you and your twitchy eye! everyday~! gossip queen. asap!! miss you too!

nana POK, stop it lo, you pretending galz. trying to check yourself out on the www!? horrible girl. hahah bt yes, thts really cool. meet up again? I NEED TO RUN/JOG/WHATEVER. and btw, steph INSISTED tht running fast for half an hr loses weight! are you sure! i thought its run slowly?? sprinting induces chunks of muscles right??

steph BITCHIEEEEE i absolutely adore you babe :D :D yes, number 2. we'll mail each other right. hahaha.

//
am talking to dadeedoo now..seriously getting worrying. i dnt evn knw wht ive been doing! havent properly caught up with so many people dearly missed. sigh. feel like visiting everyone right now and knocking on their doors to offer a huge long overdue hug. oh wellll. TIME FLIES.

butterflies
Swallow purple terror candy
Don't forget to breathe
Sickened by the wanting
And drowning from the need
And now I feel unsteady
Emotions on the blink again
So kick me
When you're ready
Here lies a violet coffin
The death of my control
Along with all my skeletons
They put them in a hole
Butterflies, butterflies
My heart will be
The bridge that
You walk over

haha actually my new fringe feels queer!
in a funny way. want to laugh at myself when i walk past the mirror.
i just hope it doesnt make me look littler.
gross!


anyhow
woke up this morning with a splitting headache
and the thing is i hatehatehate being sick
i think i mustve been thinking too much nonsense
so today
im emptying all the redundance
and letting it sail away.


shall change my layout soon
getting a bit too annoyingly morbid, dont you think!


studied with hwing today! we were bored out of our minds and wandering dazed souls all around the mall, when, tada! we decided to pierce our ears! funny thing was we suddenly flew wide awake and into a sudden study fit and studied without talking at all for an hour! funniness. ought to do such stuff more often. excites the nervous system! hehe. and hwing, im not littler at all! ._. will be sure to msg you about The Exciting Earring Twist hahah.

bumped into sq! momsiee, been so long.

and what is with funny boys with atrocious behaviour such as waving and blowing flying kisses through bus window panes..


talking to sammiekins now,
our conversation is haha, emo.
miss you, man!


and my favourite girl on earth (neat face cutie pie HAHAH),

wting' waste some time with u says:
aye wend

wting' waste some time with u says:
i feel like running away ley

wting' waste some time with u says:
v nice

wting' waste some time with u says:
just dun lk bk n run away

wting' waste some time with u says:
haha

wend' are you still leaving anways says:
hahah i dnt lyk running

wend' are you still leaving anways says:
i lyk walking

wend' are you still leaving anways says:
i lyk walking away

wting' waste some time with u says:
hahaha

wting' waste some time with u says:
u lazy pig

wend' are you still leaving anways says:
hahah really la

wting' waste some time with u says:
i'l walk away with u then


HAHA.

/ nada surf if you leave

say goodbye to yesterdays :)

\ and i hope this, along with everything else, makes you happy too :)
if you still care like you used to, that is.

its the way you make me feel

cant rmb wht song is tht
but tht one liner is stuck in my head!
people make me happy, yes
:D
happy post happy post.

i love steph
and the nan quans!
+ nana!

tad happier.
the old man crashing the cans.
._.

dont phunk with my heart

msn's died on me.
i really want to say so has everything else
but of course thats not the truth
the truth is i just died on myself.

i realise im not making sense
and i also realise my entries recently seem to have curtains of black clouds hanging all over them
but i guess i only feel like blogging
when i need some sos..

and the oscar award goes to .. me.

so i guess this is when i disappear
we were at sakae today, the teriyaki chicken don was wayy too filling
i told steph i feel like a stepping stone to people's happiness,
time and time again
and she told me she realised shes been too science-y and not been in touch with her arty fartiness
this is so screwed,
im lying about lying to myself.
cut my hair,
thought i'd feel better
i genuinely did -
i thought i had put everything behind,
buried and sat on it
but it just comes back anyways.

but of course i know
things arent the way they are
and i know how they actually are
so theres really no reason to be upset

BIG SMILE, so there.
SMILE LIKE YOU MEAN IT.
by the killers.
i just want to be happy.
:)

told you i have conflicting thoughts raging in my head.

happyhappy 18th nic :)

tried studying with steph tdy,
realise wht a failure it has been..
have i mentioned we both cut our hair
ladidum.
everything is just so far away.
i dont know what im doing.

i'll just cancel everything
and stay the way i wassssssssss
but what was i like?

completely <3 mk olsen



not lesbian k! ._.

/ i know this wont keep up
cos i was never anyone from the start
same like any other
dont know why but yknw i still bother!

nana thanks for your msg. i'll try okay? I LOVE YOU. cant wait for weds!

words don't get me far.

last night i unknowingly realised something about myself.
i know its weird but
i like to conjure up theories secretly in my own mind
and most of them are seriously conflicting thoughts
but now i know
the one and only top theory on my list should always have been

to always always be pessimistic about things.

im either a fucking retard,
or there's seriously something wrong with me.
i dont even listen to the dire warnings squeaking in my own head.
cos the second time has to mean something.
its so ironical when you think about how it started in the first place.
for both times, yes.
history in the making.

i need to stop being so freaking transparent.
i think everyone can see words floating out of my brains as i walk past them or something.

something like this only happens to dumb girls.
i guess im just a dumb dumb dumb dumb girl
thats what i am.

OKAY ENOUGH OF THIS.
MY BLOG IS SERIOUSLY BLACK-AND-WHITE-LY MORBID ENOUGH.
HAPPYGALZ.
so much for even attempting.

/ lucy woodward dumb girls.

and this is how this night is gonna end.
im sitting here at 3a.m
i just
want it to be like it was before
cos i dont think that my heart can take much more.

THE END.

but tell me just what has it ever meant.

changed internet modem, its being kinda queer and not working well hrm.
ystd majumalled with steph :)
were completely pissed with our math tys.
and also the queerdo grps1, 2, 3
totally intruding shh-land with their impertinence!
anyways, towned after that..
shopping, whee. much needed retail therapy..which didn't work much
found our stuff at pac plaza and scotts
uber embarrassing incident at Guess
-faints.
not like i cared at that point of time
but now that i look back it is really cringe-o-worthy
yikes! haha but whatever la.
steph is secretly impressed with my tiny arm muscles, amusedgalz.
we're healthygalz!
sandwich+caesar salad for lunch and mushroom soup with garlic bread for dinner
no appetite for anything else.
Distraughtgalz.
hahah i seriously get some cheap thrill out of the ah liansx lingo.
everyday~!!
its completely addictive,
don't think i can quit it.
HOW!

stephie bitchie!
thanks for being constantly there to listen. and excusing my rumbles and outrageous outbursts
awaiting your good news over the phone ltr, you happygalz
hahah. over a bikini and tube, yes. :D HAHA im suddenly thinking about teenvogue. -chuckles to self! hehe i love majumalling with you!

jiang thanks for calling :) hahah sorry abt my ps incident (trying to be discreet and not spelling the entire thing out!) see ya ltrrrrr..

happyhappyhappy 17th birthday, charm!
partyyy. miss you, hammie!

birthdays birthdays! lotsa people turned/turning 17 recently. reminds me of how mine is perpetually in the long wait..

Oh God
Please don't tell me this has been in vain
You kill me
You've always known the perfect thing to say
I know what I should do
But I just cant walk away

++ just a note to dearies signing my gbk ;;
HAHA im totally apologetic about the cheeeeeesyyyy layout.
signmyguestbook has declined my many attempts to change the layouts for a few years now! annoyed! haha.

/ Dashboard Conf. Am I missing. So impossible.
Jimmy Eat World Kill.

but im happy this way too
funny how someone can make you really happy
and really down
floatless and weightless
but also send you plummeting down the next moment.

well, i dont know
but i know i dont mean much, probably.
oh well.

still.
:)

ralph lauren rocks.
the nan quans loovvvvveeeeee!!

stuck in a rut

dont know what i got myself into
its like i had a nightmare and when i wake up
i find myself landed in the web of consequences
i dont know why or how
this is too weird to be true.

@ steph's place now
watching chasing liberty
had strawberry milkshake in the morning! :D :D
or maybe im just sick of being upset.
i love my poddie

confucious + confusion

last night was super :)galz! nan quan night. hahah

anyways, was with ree (Queen Late) at coffeebean
talked and talked and talked about everything
im happy youre happy, babe :)
please chuck hornyboyz outta the window and fight back slutty zidong galz!
what is the world coming to..filled with disturbing people haha
-looks at what you wrote in my butterfly book ;;
no prob, i'll always listen to your shit ++youre my angel too!

after which we left for nana's place
greeted by a facial masked braless creature in a nightgown
who couldnt crack a smile and spoke in murmurs
so that she wldnt crack her mask
hahahah
anyways. watched russell peters -LAUGHS
then me + ree suddenly dozed off
and woke up high and nuts
fighting over the comforter and everything
and she should stop being obscene!
HA, i have stronger arms than she does -grins
hehe.

just watched Matchstick Men dvd
the show's pretty good
alison whats-her-surname is really awesomely cute!
she looks a lot like kirsten dunst.
and also, is it me or does gwen stefani look like brittany murphy??
hrm.
havent been studying again.
sigh.
helpp.
was totally hyper and exuberent in the morning
and was actually thinking about what to blog about happily
but am all drained now, haha

lovelovelove dashboard confessional!

So she says
"Everyone's going to the party,
won't you come if I come
with a friend for your friend?
I'd be so pleased to see you
out of the classroom wearing the smile that I'll bring you.
I was hoping to learn a few things like..
Do you do you like dishing the dirt
on the whole class &
talking the big smack &
playing the fool &
wearing all of the latest fashions
or bucking the new trends
wearing your old threads.
If you like coffee in the evening
These are a few things that I'd like to know
that I'd like to know"

So I say...
"I've been scheduled to work but I'll call in
and my friend isn't busy
he'd be happy to join me
and maybe my friend
and your friend
will hit it off or maybe we will?"

I'm dying to know
do you do you like dreaming of things
so impossible or only the practical
or ever the wild or waiting through all your bad bad days
just to end them with
someone you care about
or do you like making out
and long drives and brown eyes
and guys that just
don't quite fit in
yeah do you like them
So yes, I'll see you there.

\ steph thanks for everything babe :)

hey, stay with me

SUPER UNPRODUCTIVE DAY!
did NOTHING.
omgness. am such a slacker. will be a retainee for a hundred years and then kill myself soon after.

i'll be

met up with sportygalz!

in the morning had tuition,
could do most trigo questions! am :D !! okay, the questions were quite simple but i used to be totally befuddled and detached from the mysterious world of trigonometry. so this is a baby step up! yay..haha

was feeling a tad accomplished
happily met the girls :)
havent seen all of thm in SUCH a long time!
lunched at nooch,
were such chatty and talkative galz
esp jyingz + sam gesturing wildly and excitedly gushing
the storytellers!
gossipfolks :O

then walked around,
got very worn out and tired all of a sudden
yes jyingz, im fine, but thanks anyway :)
charm + i each got smth frm zara, yayness
sam + i = greenday!
hahah and poor lynette choong, my mockery regarding wht you did to greenie will never cease -evil laughter! and pls cheer up about what people say..strange + queer! (aqualung's strange+beautiful nice right :)

after jyingzz left for her Revolving Tower Dinner, which she constantly brought up during our short outing, we went coffeebean (me + sam were totally betraying them and bringing in their rival's greentea frappe + oreo cheesecake) to attempt to study but ended up exchanging emo songs and chitchatting some more :|
so i take everything back,
so much for being accomplished..
totally unproductive day!
but am currently too lazy to care.

after which met the other jiaying & co.
trailing behind like kiddos, yes.
conflicting thoughts, all of us, but ended up in starbucks anyhow.
happy party plans being crafted!
was getting very sleepy and drowsy
contacts were killing me!
left after a while..

and here i am,
online chatting away
with the people not in spore,
hahah. <3 !
and am quite :)) !
theyre both exuding some exuberance, finally,
and got some hehe news.

sigh, tmrw tutoring!
new receptionist called just now in the morning,
sounding very bitchy indeed.
asking for my attendance sheet
omg la i dnt evn knw whts tht!
faints.
dreading bitchy receptionist and whiny kids.
righto.
off!

puerility

everyone's becoming to queer to be true.
queerdos 4,5,6,7 and the list goes on.
i cant take it anymore!!
why is everything changing so drastically!
i merely turned my back.
please stay sane, i have no one else to turn to.

late lunch ;
starbucks green tea frappe + swensons baked rice
reminds me of nan quan tings

watched ;
mtvs with the above mentioned girl (wonders of world wide web) till 3+ in the morning. (michelle branch's goodbye to you rates the highest, booboo goes to many other artists) + the prince and me (steph! lousy recommendation!)

did ;
some math questions (pathetic, i know)

feeling ;
VERY fat. and random and annoyed and sad
one of those days..

reading ;
five by julianne baggott.
wittily hilarious! :)

still ;
having stomachache (nasty macs lime juice doesnt work for me)
wondering

just a day just an ordinary day
just trying to get by
just a boy just an ordinary boy
but he was looking into the sky

havent talked to tings for a few days cos i havent been online at night :(
been rushing home to bathe and jump into bed at 11+ everyday~ (curly wurly indicates singsong tune..haha sportygalzz's inside joke)

steph+i are ABSOLUTE majumall residents.
at any time of any day ranging from morning to evening you can see 2 queerdos either
1. laughing hysterically
2. singing loudly (ok maybe a bit of screaming)
3. EATING AND MUNCHING ON SMTH
4. psycho-ly rushing through their work cos they suddenly realise theyre late and running out of time (ok shall admit tht part's only for me..hahah steph was happily still in the mood for chitchatting whilst i flew into a sudden fit and rushed through my lit notes like a psycho galzz. haha we were alr late to meeting nai! nw we knw why shes Queen of Lateness!)
and i realise we're not the only majumall residents! been seeing people wandering about too haha such as yip liming, who ive been bumping into like, almost everyday now. haha

as usual, gonna majumall ltr. thn going nai's hse! yippee, havent gone to her hse in ages. totally sec2 days. funny how everyone has changed so much :)
tsk, dad's damn annoying. pissing me off.

anyway. tues steph+i were totally wisma-ing..spent like 4hrs or so in that compound! gdness. being w steph = good food = FATTYGALZZ! happy yet sad. haha

\ur officially stuck to me n we're officially stuck to majumall n we're officially stuck AWAY FROM ****

earth angel steph

11:33 am - Wednesday,June 1, 2005 ++

completely! <3 the girl, despite the fact tht shes such an annoying brat who steals my poddie though she has a own and has regular strange laughing fits. haha okay la, such a joy to be with, really. :) hope we keep up with this!

alrighty. off i go!

\ p.s i miss the sportygalzz + ree&nana + HWING (excuse me -glares. im a forgotten girl) + wiffa + dadeedoo ! okay, everybody ! :(

++ EDIT @ 10.16pm
just reached home and rushed online
to talk to tings! miss that girl a trillion times!!
(:
oh, met this very kind stranger+friend on the bus.
as usual, im always needing strangers to give me some coins (i think they could be v lazy to change coins for my notes) cos i always have no idea when my ezlink runs out of money! horrified and panickly digging for coins, hoping they'd spruce up in my wallet suddenly. but anyway. wanted to give the guy the apple lollipop in my wallet but i think he'll laugh at me or something. cos i cant imagine him eating a lollipop. quite a buffed up scaryboiz. hrm.

feeling qt rahh.
nighty.